WEBVTT

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Good morning, good morning, everybody.

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I hope you know that today is gonna
be a great day.

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And you know why?

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Because every day is a great day!

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ETHAN: Pollen man, pollen.

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It's a killer.

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MARK: Good morning, good morning!

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ETHAN: Good morning!

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Wait. That's not how it goes.

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MARK: It's good morning, good morning.

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ETHAN: Good morning.

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How're you doing this morning?

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ETHAN: Great.

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MARK: We stole this game from the internet
called "egg roulette" and, um,

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we're just gonna take it
and make it our own.

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[Ding]

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We're gonna choose a card and the loser
of which the competition is gets to get

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an egg blown on their head.

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There's 10 eggs here,
8 of them which are hard-boiled,

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2 of which are

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ETHAN: soft, gooey, mushy.

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Don't look, you can't look at them.

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Oh you dropped one, you dropped one.

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ETHAN: I'll choose that one.

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MARK: Okay.

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ETHAN: Movie actor.

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MARK: I'm gonna say a movie and then he
has to say an actor in that same movie,

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and then I have say, a movie again?

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ETHAN: A movie that that actor has
been in.

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So you bounce back and forth.

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MARK: Cool. Let's go.

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ETHAN: Jennifer Lawrence.

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MARK: Hunger Games.

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ETHAN: Why is that so hard?

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MARK: You've got this!

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ETHAN: On the map!
Oh my gosh, duh!

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ETHAN: Woodie Harrelson.

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MARK: Uhm, Kingpin!

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ETHAN: Kingpin.

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MARK: Oh, I got you on that on! I got,
him, on, that one!

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ETHAN: I don't- Oh! Did we watch that?

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MARK: It's a really old, like,
bowling movie.

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ETHAN: I don't know, I don't know it.

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MARK: Ooh! Them I'm gon' pick an egg
for yo' ass!

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Okay, I got one, I got one.
Here we go.

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ETHAN: Hopefully it's-

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Oh, it's hard-boiled! Yes!

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MARK: Aww! Okay, okay.

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ETHAN: It's intense, it's an intense
moment.

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MARK: We had to Google how to cook
a hard-boiled egg today, so.

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ETHAN: He had to, I had to, I just helped
him.

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MARK: I was, like, I know how to put that-
whatever, moving on.

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Best Bonnaroo groove.

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[Music plays]

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MARK: Depending on the song, that's
probably what I'm gonna go with, so.

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ETHAN: Did you have a song in mind
that you were dancing to?

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MARK: I didn't, I had no song in mind.

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[Music plays]

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[Mark laughs]

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MARK: Do you just wanna both grab an egg
and do it?

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ETHAN: [Laughs] Yeah.

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MARK: Okay, because we both just suck.

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3, 2, 1, go.

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[Both exclaim]

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MARK: Oh no!

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ETHAN: Oh yes!

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MARK: Dammit!

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ETHAN: No no no no no!

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How do you feel about yourself in your
choices and everything about your life

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right now?

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MARK: I feel pretty tiny right now.

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ETHAN: It's okay, don't feel small.
Just eat some raw egg.

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MARK: Don't put egg on me!
I'm gonna get the salmonella!

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[Ethan laughs]

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I so badly wanna just wipe it off my head
but, I don't.

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ETHAN: You can't, you can't touch it.

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MARK: I know. Alright

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ETHAN: Basic bitch impression.
[Laughing] That is the category.

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ETHAN: [Valley girl accent] I want
some Starbucks. It's just like,

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I just want a caramel macchiato.
Wait, where are my Ray-Bans?

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Wait, where are my Ray-Bans?
Do you have my Ray-Bans?

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MARK: [Nasal voice] Oh, my god!
I am, like, just covered in egg right now!

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And, like, it's dripping, but, like, I'm
just gonna be okay about it.

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[Normal voice] That got weird.

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ETHAN: That got real weird really quick.
I'm just gonna sit in silence for a couple

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minutes.

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[Makes noise] I don't know why that noise
is happening, but it's happening.

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MARK: Longest hand stand.

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Stop right there, stop right there.
Go.

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MARK: Ah, damn it!

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ETHAN: Aww.

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MARK: Ay, baby!
Is it still on there?

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Why did you- get that off of there!
Oh, you silly boy.

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ETHAN: Robert Shambo.
Also known as:

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MARK: Rock, paper, scissors.

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BOTH: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

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Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

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MARK: Ah, you [bleep]!

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Ow. You don't have to push it
that hard.

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ETHAN: Sorry, yeah. I do kinda, like,
really just slam it on there.

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MARK: Because if it is, like, an actual
egg and like,

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ETHAN: It's gonna go everywhere.

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MARK: It's gonna need less muscle.

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ETHAN: Yeah.

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Rules? What rules? This is our game.

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MARK: We don't, uh, we ran out of cards
to pull, so we're just gonna go back and

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forth on eggs. And then, um, yay.
[Both Laugh]

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Egg cam.

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ETHAN: This is true, just, egg roulette.

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BOTH: Alright ready, 3, 2, 1, go.

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[Ethan groans]

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MARK: Is it bad again?
Is it really?

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ETHAN: Aw yeah.

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MARK: [Bleep]
You stupid!

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ETHAN: Ow! Ow!

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I win, so that's what this game looks
like.

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MARK: It's not my day.

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ETHAN: It looks like it was Ethan's day!
100 percent!

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[Ethan exclaims]

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That was a surprise.

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It's nice.

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MARK: Yeah, can you gel that for me?

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ETHAN: Nice hair gel. Yeah, I'm just gonna
spike it right up for you.

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Some texture in there.
Really some deep in there.

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MARK: Thanks babe.
Okay guys, thank you so much for watching.

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We will see you in a couple days.
We'll be at [city] in a couple of days.

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Pretty excited about that.

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ETHAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

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MARK: Get your ears and eyes ready
to see that kind of stuff because,

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I know it's gonna be hard to, like, edit
and post videos there, but I'm gonna do my

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best to do it because, it's gonna be fun
and exciting and I want you guys to

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experience it as well.

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Thank you so much for watching!

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ETHAN: Love ya.

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MARK: [Sings] See ya!

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BOTH: Byeee!

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[Outro music plays]

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MARK: I'm sorry.

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ETHAN: It's okay. It was just- it was
slightly- it wasn't even that cold.

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[Mark coughs]

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ETHAN: [Laughs] That's what you get!
What happened there?

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[Mark laughs]