EGG ROULETTE 'DANCE OFF'

Good morning, good morning, everybody.

I hope you know that today is gonna
be a great day.

And you know why?

Because every day is a great day!

ETHAN: Pollen man, pollen.

It's a killer.

MARK: Good morning, good morning!

ETHAN: Good morning!

Wait. That's not how it goes.

MARK: It's good morning, good morning.

ETHAN: Good morning.

How're you doing this morning?

ETHAN: Great.

MARK: We stole this game from the internet
called "egg roulette" and, um,

we're just gonna take it
and make it our own.

[Ding]

We're gonna choose a card and the loser
of which the competition is gets to get

an egg blown on their head.

There's 10 eggs here,
8 of them which are hard-boiled,

2 of which are

ETHAN: soft, gooey, mushy.

Don't look, you can't look at them.

Oh you dropped one, you dropped one.

ETHAN: I'll choose that one.

MARK: Okay.

ETHAN: Movie actor.

MARK: I'm gonna say a movie and then he
has to say an actor in that same movie,

and then I have say, a movie again?

ETHAN: A movie that that actor has
been in.

So you bounce back and forth.

MARK: Cool. Let's go.

ETHAN: Jennifer Lawrence.

MARK: Hunger Games.

ETHAN: Why is that so hard?

MARK: You've got this!

ETHAN: On the map!
Oh my gosh, duh!

ETHAN: Woodie Harrelson.

MARK: Uhm, Kingpin!

ETHAN: Kingpin.

MARK: Oh, I got you on that on! I got,
him, on, that one!

ETHAN: I don't- Oh! Did we watch that?

MARK: It's a really old, like,
bowling movie.

ETHAN: I don't know, I don't know it.

MARK: Ooh! Them I'm gon' pick an egg
for yo' ass!

Okay, I got one, I got one.
Here we go.

ETHAN: Hopefully it's-

Oh, it's hard-boiled! Yes!

MARK: Aww! Okay, okay.

ETHAN: It's intense, it's an intense
moment.

MARK: We had to Google how to cook
a hard-boiled egg today, so.

ETHAN: He had to, I had to, I just helped
him.

MARK: I was, like, I know how to put that-
whatever, moving on.

Best Bonnaroo groove.

[Music plays]

MARK: Depending on the song, that's
probably what I'm gonna go with, so.

ETHAN: Did you have a song in mind
that you were dancing to?

MARK: I didn't, I had no song in mind.

[Music plays]

[Mark laughs]

MARK: Do you just wanna both grab an egg
and do it?

ETHAN: [Laughs] Yeah.

MARK: Okay, because we both just suck.

3, 2, 1, go.

[Both exclaim]

MARK: Oh no!

ETHAN: Oh yes!

MARK: Dammit!

ETHAN: No no no no no!

How do you feel about yourself in your
choices and everything about your life

right now?

MARK: I feel pretty tiny right now.

ETHAN: It's okay, don't feel small.
Just eat some raw egg.

MARK: Don't put egg on me!
I'm gonna get the salmonella!

[Ethan laughs]

I so badly wanna just wipe it off my head
but, I don't.

ETHAN: You can't, you can't touch it.

MARK: I know. Alright

ETHAN: Basic bitch impression.
[Laughing] That is the category.

ETHAN: [Valley girl accent] I want
some Starbucks. It's just like,

I just want a caramel macchiato.
Wait, where are my Ray-Bans?

Wait, where are my Ray-Bans?
Do you have my Ray-Bans?

MARK: [Nasal voice] Oh, my god!
I am, like, just covered in egg right now!

And, like, it's dripping, but, like, I'm
just gonna be okay about it.

[Normal voice] That got weird.

ETHAN: That got real weird really quick.
I'm just gonna sit in silence for a couple

minutes.

[Makes noise] I don't know why that noise
is happening, but it's happening.

MARK: Longest hand stand.

Stop right there, stop right there.
Go.

MARK: Ah, damn it!

ETHAN: Aww.

MARK: Ay, baby!
Is it still on there?

Why did you- get that off of there!
Oh, you silly boy.

ETHAN: Robert Shambo.
Also known as:

MARK: Rock, paper, scissors.

BOTH: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

MARK: Ah, you [bleep]!

Ow. You don't have to push it
that hard.

ETHAN: Sorry, yeah. I do kinda, like,
really just slam it on there.

MARK: Because if it is, like, an actual
egg and like,

ETHAN: It's gonna go everywhere.

MARK: It's gonna need less muscle.

ETHAN: Yeah.

Rules? What rules? This is our game.

MARK: We don't, uh, we ran out of cards
to pull, so we're just gonna go back and

forth on eggs. And then, um, yay.
[Both Laugh]

Egg cam.

ETHAN: This is true, just, egg roulette.

BOTH: Alright ready, 3, 2, 1, go.

[Ethan groans]

MARK: Is it bad again?
Is it really?

ETHAN: Aw yeah.

MARK: [Bleep]
You stupid!

ETHAN: Ow! Ow!

I win, so that's what this game looks
like.

MARK: It's not my day.

ETHAN: It looks like it was Ethan's day!
100 percent!

[Ethan exclaims]

That was a surprise.

It's nice.

MARK: Yeah, can you gel that for me?

ETHAN: Nice hair gel. Yeah, I'm just gonna
spike it right up for you.

Some texture in there.
Really some deep in there.

MARK: Thanks babe.
Okay guys, thank you so much for watching.

We will see you in a couple days.
We'll be at [city] in a couple of days.

Pretty excited about that.

ETHAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

MARK: Get your ears and eyes ready
to see that kind of stuff because,

I know it's gonna be hard to, like, edit
and post videos there, but I'm gonna do my

best to do it because, it's gonna be fun
and exciting and I want you guys to

experience it as well.

Thank you so much for watching!

ETHAN: Love ya.

MARK: [Sings] See ya!

BOTH: Byeee!

[Outro music plays]

MARK: I'm sorry.

ETHAN: It's okay. It was just- it was
slightly- it wasn't even that cold.

[Mark coughs]

ETHAN: [Laughs] That's what you get!
What happened there?

[Mark laughs]